Dear John:

I know the media has been chewing on you for a week now. You’ve become so easy a target – low hanging fruit, as they say. So, I’ll spare you the rant about cheating, lying hypocrites and simply say that when Bill Clinton strayed I wanted to smash a grapefruit in his face and when you did I felt sick to my stomach.

I do have some comments and questions, however.

What if you had gotten the votes and were now the presumed nominee and we were sitting as we are, less than two weeks before the convention, and your secret just popped out? The Democratic Party might have panicked, canceled Denver and handed over the whole thing to John McCain. Or maybe worse, the dirt digging would have become so desperate by both sides that the public would end up with two candidates going at it Sleazo-a-Sleazo with no time to return to the critical issues of the war, the economy and health care.

People are mad and not just because you hurt the woman you professed to love and worship but you put your party at risk. And if you really believe that having a Democratic president is essential for the health and security of the country, you put your whole country at risk, too. For what?

You’ve gotten points from some quarters for the narcissism confession. It’s refreshing, I admit, to hear a high powered person say he believed his own wonderful-ness. But what I don’t get is how the “I’m so awesome” attitude naturally leads a person to slip into the wrong sheets. You suddenly have this free pass to everything, and you think, “I’m going to sneak off with the camera woman”?

Aren’t their other ways to demonstrate your entitlement? If you’re that untouchable and deserving, why not rob a bank? Or have someone buy you a third world country?

To all candidates: Do you consider sexual carte blance a perk of office?

Every time some big name public figure gets caught being unfaithful, we have the debate over whether a politician’s marriage is public property. It’s always after the fact that this comes up, and so maybe we should get all you wanna-be leaders on the record from the start.

Make it one of the debate questions on television. Have Brian Williams ask all the candidates: Who here considers sexual carte blanche a perk of office?”

I have a question for you about the adultery code. You made a point of saying that you were unfaithful at a time Elizabeth was in remission, before she was found to have inoperable cancer. Is that the rule? You can be unfaithful to a sick person as long as you don’t think they’re going to die?

John, you’ve given us so much to talk about. I’ve had disagreements with friends over whether Bill Clinton’s multiple escapades were worse than your supposed single act, seeing as he was a known bad boy and you had that nice guy number going.

We’ve wondered why Hillary Clinton was chastised for being weak and not leaving her philandering husband but Elizabeth is applauded for standing by her man.

And, what about Rielle Hunter? If she was such a believer why did she put your candidacy in jeopardy? Also, didn’t she learn in high school that everybody hates the girl who goes off with someone else’s guy?

You can see, John, that there’s much to discuss. And it has nothing to do with your reverence for working people and how you might have put decency back into government. Maybe the last word on you is what a friend said the other day when I brought up your name.

“John Edwards? What a dope.”

Listen to Dear John, You Dope on KRCB’s Another Voice.

My Massachusetts friend and I seldom agree politically, although she might have supported Hillary had she prevailed. That would have been a first, for us to have voted on the same side.

But we both do love our beaches, hers and mine. Yet, she would drill in all those offshore places we promised not to. And I would not.

On a recent trip Back East I wasn’t sure how we would get into politics, nor if we should. But it came up the first day, as I sat poised over my first clam roll. We were talking about the price of gas and food and how people are traveling less this summer, even though we had just crawled in traffic the length of Cape Cod.

She said we better start more drilling for oil because we have to do something. I agreed about doing something. But how about the auto industry using its certain know-how to provide smaller more fuel efficient cars? How about more affordable hybrids? And electric plug in cars?

My friend talked about getting off our dependence on foreign oil and I said that we’d still have to import even if we did drill. We could have both gone on, but you don’t want to start a vacation by giving each other indigestion.

Suddenly the big thorny issue in this country is oil. More than the war or health care, it’s about filling up our gas tanks. And, some say, if you don’t let Big Oil get in there and do what it wants to the ocean and nature preserves and wherever else it feels the tug, then you’re not understanding people’s pain.

What happened to all the exciting thinking about alternative energy? To Al Gore’s 10 year renewable energy plan? What about commute trains and solar power and biofuel and carpooling and riding bikes and working from home?

There was Nancy saying oh no, you don’t.

I was heading home by the time the flap hit over House Speaker Nancy Pelosi sending Congress away on their break without a vote on offshore drilling. I didn’t even have a chance to point out that if anyone is still looking for examples that women leaders can stand tough, there was Nancy saying – Oh no, you don’t.

Everybody’s hurting. We seem to have no control over the daunting numbers at the gas pump, crazy food prices even in the middle of the growing season, the devalued dollar, the dismal housing market and America’s worsening image in the world community.

It would be great if one thing could take it all away without a whole lot of effort on each individual’s part. But it’s false logic to think if we just get more oil out our oceans, the price of coffee will go down and we can happily go back to driving the SUV.

It’s like that new exercise pill which might allow you to give up the gym and fall back on the couch into a pile of Cheetos.

Nothing comes that cheap. Somewhere, down the road, there’s a price to pay.

Listen to Oil and Water on KRCB’s Another Voice.