Maybe this will be the year for good wishes, loving thoughts and no gifts. When Santa, the spirit of Christmas formerly known as Mr. Big Box, slips only a few envelopes under the tree.

Envelopes not with gift cards but with little notes inside that read something like, “A donation has been made in your name to (some worthy cause) and whose selfless efforts will lead to greater peace and harmony than by my going to the mall to buy you something you can’t afford to buy for yourself and I really can’t either.”

It could be our good karma Christmas. A day on which we gather with our family and give out good cheer but nothing that comes in a box with a gift return slip taped inside.

This no-gift option is something that Father Christmas and I are thinking of presenting to our immediate kin. It will have to be decided soon because we are a gift-giving family. We have tried downsizing. We’ve set price limits. We’ve drawn names so that we only give to one person. Then we amended that plan to allow side presents for everyone else in the form of stocking stuffers. But sweaters and salad bowls don’t fit inside even jumbo stockings. So people went ahead, bought big and stacked their over-sized items on the floor under the appropriate stocking, taking us back to the old days of piles of presents for all.

There isn’t a Santa we know who isn’t short on jingle this year.

But without presents, why get up before dawn on Christmas morning to dive under the tree? Could we still have our ritual without the main attraction? We could sit around in our pajamas and play our favorite Gladys Knight and Mariah Carey Christmas albums and still indulge in the Christmas morning menu of bagels, lox and cream cheese and some form of brandy to splash in the coffee.

Still, rituals are hard to break and no one wants to be called a Scrooge but really (and I’m rehearsing now) everyone’s on a tight budget. There isn’t a Santa we know who isn’t short on jingle this year. Yet our family is lucky to be among the employed and the housed, and we still have our health and can buy lox. But there is a growing band of needy out there. So let’s suck it up this year and share with those who don’t have a choice where to put their money.

But what do we tell the grandkids? Do we announce, “Well, Christmas is really about spending time together so have a bagel” or do we make an exception? There is the Christmas story told in our family about one small child so overwhelmed by the number of gifts piled up around her feet that she started crying and kicking them away. That child, now the mother of two, has already requested that we please keep it to a minimum.

How about this new twist to the family ritual? We choose our favorite local agency or organization that constantly gives to our community – a school, library, women’s shelter, clothes closet or food bank and write a modest but meaningful check. We go lean with the kiddies but still get to scope out the cool new things painted red with wheels at the toy store and thereby contribute to the local economy.

And for the adults, I’m thinking books. Real ones, to encourage the art of reading and writing, to save our independent book stores and to preserve that other ritual that sometimes takes place over Christmas, when things go quiet and you take yourself to a cozy chair by the tree, open your book and a new story begins.

The proposed ban on covering abortion, part of the House health care reform bill, has drawn predictable reaction. But one of the most dismaying responses is from those who think it won’t really happen. I understand hoping and wishing that that is the case but that’s not how the anti-choice people work. They think they have conquered the House of Representatives. Now, on to the Senate.

Each restriction on abortion, and this would be a big one, is one step closer to making abortion illegal. And then it’s Tijuana, here we come. Right back to where we started from.

“You never know when unintended pregnancy will strike. Be prepared. Buy our abortion plan today.”

Were Congress to somehow boot the Stupak anti-abortion amendment from a final health care delivery plan, which would be a great relief, do we really think the anti-choice crowd will shrug and slink away? Look how much they’ve already won. They managed to hijack the health care debate and turn it into an abortion battle. They interrupted a complicated national conversation on how to provide health care to all Americans including the millions without health insurance and put the focus on their single cause.

Opponents of abortion said, “You want choice? Here’s your choice.” And then they had their way with a Democrat-controlled House over the objection of its Speaker, who also happens to be a pro-choice mother and grandmother.

The Stupak amendment will apply to only those women who buy health insurance in a government subsidized insurance plan, but why are these women expendable? Plus, their numbers are just going to grow as people change or lose jobs and employers dump their group coverage. Some day there might be no insurance coverage at all for abortion and what would that mean to the hospitals, clinics and doctors who provide them? Would they disappear too? And then?

We know that one. The rich would find a way to get abortions, and low and middle income women would be stuck. And on their way to Tijuana.

You call that health care reform? No, it sounds more like a triumph for the Catholic bishops, the radical religious right, the good old boys in Washington and your basic patriarchal rule.

Of course there is a provision that a woman could buy a separate insurance rider to cover abortion, like you can add earthquake coverage to your basic home and property insurance. And how might that advertisement be written? “You never know when unintended pregnancy will strike. Be prepared. Buy our abortion plan today.”

Maybe the anti-abortion amendment was a ruse to temporarily placate abortion foes. Maybe fair and equitable thinking will prevail.

Then again, people said California would never vote against gay marriage.

I’ve been feeling guilty for not spending more money in the hood. It’s not because there aren’t ample ways to buy local. We live within walking distance to book stores and restaurants, a movie theater, playhouse, coffee hangouts, boutiques, bakeries, an ice cream parlor. The same temptations exist as before. But in November of 2009 we buy groceries, dog food and new tires.

Things have changed. Everyone’s on a budget. But this mess can’t last forever and while we can’t do much about Wall Street we want Main Street to be there when we bravely open our wallets again. But now I often walk past a store or restaurant and wave… and wince. I hope someone’s in there spending money because I haven’t been. I feel bad looking in the window with the artsy jewelry and not popping for some new earrings. My local indie book store can’t count on me like it used to.

I feel like I’m dodging a jilted boyfriend and I don’t want the storekeepers to take my absence personal, but how else can a merchant take it when customers walk on by? I want to say to the owners of the seafood restaurant, “Hang on to those crab cakes and when things get better we’ll be back.”

I told this to the guy who has the music store downtown. I used to be a fairly good customer because without music the world would be a drab, soulless place but buying a new CD isn’t at the top of my current budget. I confessed my guilt and he kind of absolved me and said everyone is cautious. He, too, is not buying as many books or eating out as much. Then he sold me the new Sting album.

It was sad when the shoe store closed. It was pricey but the staff knew their merchandise and the shoes were both comfortable and hip. I should have told them that if they lasted a little longer I would have rationalized that pair of Canada-made boots.

You don’t want to live in a town with empty storefronts, where the windows are covered with faded newspapers and no one’s around to sweep up cigarette butts. A lively Main Street is part of a town’s personality. I enjoy the white lights twinkling from the beer garden even though we haven’t been there for months. I don’t surf but I’m happy the surfboard store manages to thrive.

You don’t have to be a member of the Chamber of Commerce to applaud every gutsy merchant who keeps the doors open. And those people who open new businesses – like the kitchen and garden store and the art gallery – deserve some kind of chutzpah award.

Experts say that the American consumer society has been forever changed. In many ways that’s good. People are saving more than spending. We’re staying home more, growing our own veggies, buying clothes at consignment shops, thinking before we charge. The dismal economy has been a harsh teacher and spending money is risky business.

The mayor of my town started a Dine Local program, inviting townspeople to join her at a different restaurant every week. It’s a good idea. It not only helps out small business owners but gives us stay-at-homes permission to spring for an evening out.

We all do what we can. Sharing a burger at the bar. That’s do-able.

Susan Swartz is an author and journalist in Sebastopol, California You can also read her at www.juicytomatoes.com and hear her Another Voice commentary on KRCB-FM radio on Fridays. Email is susan@juicytomatoes.com

Photo: Edward Hopper’s Nighthawks