Comments on: Good Karma or Ka-Ching? http://www.juicytomatoes.com/2009/11/27/good-karma-or-ka-ching/ ripe living after 50, with Susan Swartz Thu, 09 Sep 2010 20:55:52 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Penny Hastings http://www.juicytomatoes.com/2009/11/27/good-karma-or-ka-ching/#comment-651 Penny Hastings Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:00:17 +0000 http://www.juicytomatoes.com/?p=221#comment-651 We've been discussing this topic and trying out ways to reduce expense and stress for the past few years. Nothing so far worksw for everyone, and I suspect it's because all our relationships are different as well as the distance factor. I've cobbled together a few ideas that work for some family members, not for others, like the ones who live far away. For grandchildren close by: an invitation to a day (or part of a day) with grandparents (or just one of us) doing something that particular child really likes or that we would like to introduce--a new experience. I always go for the physical activity whenever possible...an upcoming SRJC basketball game (and a gift of a basketball), a hike on a new trail with a picnic lunch, a walk at Howarth Park followed by a movie at the Rialto...just things I've done in the past that seem to work. I also favor books for just about everyone...and as you say, Susan, purchased at one of our wonderful local independent book stores. Let's keep the conversation going. We’ve been discussing this topic and trying out ways to reduce expense and stress for the past few years. Nothing so far worksw for everyone, and I suspect it’s because all our relationships are different as well as the distance factor. I’ve cobbled together a few ideas that work for some family members, not for others, like the ones who live far away. For grandchildren close by: an invitation to a day (or part of a day) with grandparents (or just one of us) doing something that particular child really likes or that we would like to introduce–a new experience. I always go for the physical activity whenever possible…an upcoming SRJC basketball game (and a gift of a basketball), a hike on a new trail with a picnic lunch, a walk at Howarth Park followed by a movie at the Rialto…just things I’ve done in the past that seem to work. I also favor books for just about everyone…and as you say, Susan, purchased at one of our wonderful local independent book stores. Let’s keep the conversation going.

]]> By: Susan Swartz http://www.juicytomatoes.com/2009/11/27/good-karma-or-ka-ching/#comment-650 Susan Swartz Tue, 01 Dec 2009 20:55:33 +0000 http://www.juicytomatoes.com/?p=221#comment-650 Another woman said her little boy became so frustrated with eager relatives adding to his pile of gifts that he cried out, "I just want to play with my dinosaur." Another woman said her little boy became so frustrated with eager relatives adding to his pile of gifts that he cried out, “I just want to play with my dinosaur.”

]]> By: sophie jensen http://www.juicytomatoes.com/2009/11/27/good-karma-or-ka-ching/#comment-649 sophie jensen Tue, 01 Dec 2009 14:29:42 +0000 http://www.juicytomatoes.com/?p=221#comment-649 we've been trying most of those for several years. none of them has really worked very well, so this year I'm going to do my own patchwork system. One of my favorite books, possibly from my library, for the adults and for the families with children (who are all quite a distance away) some kind of family gift -- a game, a DVD, maybe food or a candle, since I celebrate the winter solstice. totally agree with the mother of two! Our consumer society is so tough on kids, constantly telling them they deserve the latest fad toy. I love the ideas for shared experiences, but that's tough when the family is scattered. we’ve been trying most of those for several years. none of them has really worked very well, so this year I’m going to do my own patchwork system. One of my favorite books, possibly from my library, for the adults and for the families with children (who are all quite a distance away) some kind of family gift — a game, a DVD, maybe food or a candle, since I celebrate the winter solstice.

totally agree with the mother of two! Our consumer society is so tough on kids, constantly telling them they deserve the latest fad toy. I love the ideas for shared experiences, but that’s tough when the family is scattered.

]]> By: Susan Swartz http://www.juicytomatoes.com/2009/11/27/good-karma-or-ka-ching/#comment-648 Susan Swartz Tue, 01 Dec 2009 02:33:48 +0000 http://www.juicytomatoes.com/?p=221#comment-648 Oh good. I like all of these ideas. This morning in my yoga class one woman said when she gave just gifts to her grandchildren her 12 year old (sensitive) granddaughter felt guilty. She's gone back to drawing names with a $50 maximum. My daughter, mother of two, said she worries if her kids are the only ones getting presents it perpetuates the idea that they are the center of the universe. We're still considering.. Oh good. I like all of these ideas. This morning in my yoga class one woman said when she gave just gifts to her grandchildren her 12 year old (sensitive) granddaughter felt guilty. She’s gone back to drawing names with a $50 maximum. My daughter, mother of two, said she worries if her kids are the only ones getting presents it perpetuates the idea that they are the center of the universe. We’re still considering..

]]> By: Judith Beck http://www.juicytomatoes.com/2009/11/27/good-karma-or-ka-ching/#comment-647 Judith Beck Tue, 01 Dec 2009 02:00:22 +0000 http://www.juicytomatoes.com/?p=221#comment-647 Actually, Susan, you suggestions at the end are perfect! I especially like tghe Bokks for the Adults. Actually, Susan, you suggestions at the end are perfect!
I especially like tghe Bokks for the Adults.

]]> By: Judith http://www.juicytomatoes.com/2009/11/27/good-karma-or-ka-ching/#comment-646 Judith Mon, 30 Nov 2009 22:31:52 +0000 http://www.juicytomatoes.com/?p=221#comment-646 ... oh and, P.S. We're treating the grandchildren and their parents (and us!) to a local performance of The Nutcracker the day after Christmas. Now there's a gift for all of us! … oh and, P.S. We’re treating the grandchildren and their parents (and us!) to a local performance of The Nutcracker the day after Christmas. Now there’s a gift for all of us!

]]> By: Judith http://www.juicytomatoes.com/2009/11/27/good-karma-or-ka-ching/#comment-645 Judith Mon, 30 Nov 2009 22:30:04 +0000 http://www.juicytomatoes.com/?p=221#comment-645 A friend was here with me for a few days before Thanksgiving and the subject came up. She's kindof planning on giving donations in the name of the giftee but is not 100 percent sure it's what she'll do. Her husband isn't keen on the idea of her giving donations to HIS side of the family (second marriage). I remembered that I heard a persuasive argument against it - luckily my older husband actually did remember the point ... this is it: this is often a gift for the giver - creates lots of warm and fuzzy feelings for him or her. Seems to me if the givee has given an indication that that's what s/he would like, then it's the thing to do. (I did that once and the giver was haunted by additional requests for donations but he's a big boy and can handle that relatively minor annoyance.) In addition to this sometimes good idea - and most of us contribute to our favorite local charities, yes? - I like your idea about downsizing the gifts. I like gifts - I like to give them and receive them. They never ever have to be terribly extravagent. And, I too, will not contribute any more to the pile of toys under my grandchildren's tree - a book or two and a check for the college fund (or other launching fund, whatever that may be). And cookies. A friend was here with me for a few days before Thanksgiving and the subject came up. She’s kindof planning on giving donations in the name of the giftee but is not 100 percent sure it’s what she’ll do. Her husband isn’t keen on the idea of her giving donations to HIS side of the family (second marriage). I remembered that I heard a persuasive argument against it - luckily my older husband actually did remember the point … this is it: this is often a gift for the giver - creates lots of warm and fuzzy feelings for him or her. Seems to me if the givee has given an indication that that’s what s/he would like, then it’s the thing to do. (I did that once and the giver was haunted by additional requests for donations but he’s a big boy and can handle that relatively minor annoyance.) In addition to this sometimes good idea - and most of us contribute to our favorite local charities, yes? - I like your idea about downsizing the gifts. I like gifts - I like to give them and receive them. They never ever have to be terribly extravagent. And, I too, will not contribute any more to the pile of toys under my grandchildren’s tree - a book or two and a check for the college fund (or other launching fund, whatever that may be). And cookies.

]]> By: Padi Selwyn http://www.juicytomatoes.com/2009/11/27/good-karma-or-ka-ching/#comment-644 Padi Selwyn Mon, 30 Nov 2009 22:19:33 +0000 http://www.juicytomatoes.com/?p=221#comment-644 Thanks for starting a very relevant conversation! Rituals and family traditions die hard, but it's up to us elders to initiate and create new traditions. This year, instead of holiday gifts, we are treating our children to a fun weekend in San Francisco -- keeping costs down by staying at a friend's house for the weekend instead of hotel rooms (our city friends will be out of town). We are treating the kids to a show and some fun outings that don't cost a bundle. Since the holidays for us are really about being together, we are going to share the gift of our time and love, having fun together. There will be no gifts or wrapping paper this year, just a memory of a great time together. That is enough. Thanks for starting a very relevant conversation! Rituals and family traditions die hard, but it’s up to us elders to initiate and create new traditions. This year, instead of holiday gifts, we are treating our children to a fun weekend in San Francisco — keeping costs down by staying at a friend’s house for the weekend instead of hotel rooms (our city friends will be out of town). We are treating the kids to a show and some fun outings that don’t cost a bundle. Since the holidays for us are really about being together, we are going to share the gift of our time and love, having fun together. There will be no gifts or wrapping paper this year, just a memory of a great time together. That is enough.

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