Helen Mirren may have just helped out John McCain. At least in the ageism debate.
Many people automatically assume that a 63-year-old woman is too old for a bikini. And many argue that a 72-year-old man is too old to become president.

Both concerns come from the popular “ism” that a person’s chronological age is their most defining characteristic and therefore determines who they are and what they can do.

Helen Mirren has demonstrated that she does swimmingly in a red bikini, as evidenced in photos of her Italian vacation which won hurrahs for her flat stomach, smooth thighs and chutzpah. But, even though her physical charms appear limitless, and they are enviable, it’s still her superior acting that counts most.

Now, how about John McCain? We’ve got his various political positions to bat around. But is his age a fair target? I hope the Obama campaign can take the high road on this issue. First, because their guy, at 47, could be vulnerable to ageism from the other end. And because he doesn’t want to offend people over age 50 who are expected to make up half the voters in November. There are a lot of Boomers, especially ones hitting retirement age, who are sensitive to being labeled by the year they were born.

Men age, women rot.

I discussed the age issue with a couple of powerful Democratic women who you might expect to seize on any negative they could find on McCain. But they think his vintage should be left out of the contest. California Congresswoman Lynn Woolsey and former Colorado congresswoman Pat Schroeder know their “isms.” Both were Hillary Clinton supporters and smarted over the sexism that came out during her campaign.

Schroeder, who was in Congress for more than 20 years and made a bid for the presidential nomination in 1987, was a regular on talk shows earlier this year, blasting the media for its misogyny, likening the treatment of Hillary Clinton to the Salem Witch Trials. Schroeder saw some ageism, too, in the Hillary attacks, recalling Rush Limbaugh’s comment about Americans not wanting to watch a woman president grow old before their eyes. And even though Schroeder still thinks sexism was the greater culprit, she said, “There’s no question that sexism and ageism are very related. It’s the old thing about ‘men age, women rot.’

Were a woman contemporary of McCain to put herself out there, the response would be harsher, said Schroeder. For example, she thinks Dianne Feinstein would make a great candidate. But Feinstein is 75. And if she ran, said Schroeder, “they’d nail her on her age.”

The last time Lynn Woolsey ran for re-election, a columnist, who supported her younger male opponent, said it was time to get someone younger with more energy. Woolsey defended herself, saying, “I can’t help my age but I don’t believe anyone has more energy than I do.”

Woolsey, who is two years younger than McCain, said she doesn’t think 72 is that old. “Age isn’t the issue. But health and vitality are.”

Schroeder said that’s what people should be looking at – “to make sure the person has good mental faculties and is in fairly good shape.”

And then you can go after that person on the really important things – like the war, health care, immigration, women’s rights, messing with the ocean digging for oil.

The rest is no more relevant than how you stuff a wild bikini.

Madonna is joining our club. The Material Girl turns 50 in August and it looks like she’ll be celebrating by going on a world tour. Some women climb mountains or run rapids to mark the day. Others pull on their bustier and black boots and say “look at me now.” At least she’s not home whimpering under the covers.

In fact, Madonna is taking the whole 50 thing head-on, insisting she will never conform to people’s expectations of a half century woman.
“Once you reach a certain age you’re not allowed to be adventurous, you’re not allowed to be sexual,” she complained to a reporter.
“I mean, is there a rule? Are you supposed to just die?”

We who have survived the crossing can assure her that there are plenty of fine 50 and over examples to counter those dead and dreary expectations. The limits are lifted and if there’s any rule at all it’s to refuse to be invisible which would not seem to be an issue for Madonna.

No matter how famous and talented you are.. turning 50 can be a rocky passage.

It is pretty telling, however, that even this pop icon is not exempt from the worry and dread that the calendar is going to force her into someone she’s not.

You have to admire her for not just slithering over the line and hoping no one noticed since she could have passed for 40-ish for many more years. But she might as well be pro-active since the media would have certainly outed her. That’s one drawback to being a celebrity. You don’t get to lie about your age, because it will surely show up in a People column.

But, sure, even the Material Girl, gets to be a little un-nerved by the whole thing. No matter how famous and talented you are, no matter how much your kids adore you and men swoon over you and teenage girls want to dress like you, turning 50 can be a rocky passage.

She started out sounding a little defensive but seems to have developed the appropriate attitude. Now when asked how she feels about this special crossing her response is,
“F*** you, I’m 50.”

In a show of solidarity, a Portland, Oregon woman defended Madonna in the New York Times after a critic said the Material Girl’s famed sex appeal would surely, inevitably fade.

In a letter to the Times, and a good example of talking back to the media, the Oregon woman faulted such limited thinking and pointed out, “There is no universal law that women’s sexuality or beauty fades over time. It does not fade, it deepens.”
Meanwhile Tina Turner, at 68, is on her first tour in eight years, proving she still has the voice. And the necessary equipment, including her itty-bitty skirt and outrageous high heels. “You can’t go without the lipsticks, the hair and of course making sure you bring the legs along,” said Tina.
She also said her friend Sophia Loren insisted that it was time for Tina to get back on the road.
So, what does this mean to those who don’t have the stuff and talent of a Madonna or a Tina and don’t have the counsel of Sophia? It’s just another reminder that when you think it’s over at 50 or 60 or any age that makes you shudder, it helps to have another woman pop the black balloons and push you back on stage.

Madonna picture courtesy of The Telegraph