A group of guys meet every week at a bar in Santa Rosa, Ca. for a different kind of men’s night out. They’re all fathers of young children and the purpose of their gathering is to discuss kid stuff – everything from time outs for toddlers to the best pre-school.

Basically they talk about the same parenting issues that typically consume mothers who generally end up being the higher authority on child-raising.

These guys see parenting as a 50/50 partnership. Not only do they do diapers and make lunches, they expect to be involved in every aspect of their children’s lives, the tedious part like scheduling and the memorable moments like first tooth, first word, first temper tantrum.

You may think this sounds too evolved to be true, but I happen to know a couple of the guys in the group and have seen dual parenting in action. One of these super dads is my son-in-law, father of our super grandchild.

Son-in-law Jay joined the dads group before he became a father, which gave him a head’s up on the huge job ahead. He read the recommended books. Back then it was “The Expectant Father.” Today his favorite reading is “The Happiest Toddler on the Block.”

You may think this sounds too evolved to be true…

The dads group, which has a core membership of six guys, calls themselves Beer and Babes, which it says on their T-shirts. Each Wednesday, after their kids have gone to bed, they meet for beer, chicken wings and kid talk.

One of the instigators of the group is Maas, a teacher and father of two_– a five-year-old and a three-year-old. Maas remembers one night when the dads spent three hours talking about how to enforce naptime. He’s past that challenge but can share his wisdom, along with what he knows about potty training and the terrible twos to the fathers with younger kids. Jay says he gets better advice from the other dads’ first-hand experience than he would from going on the internet with a question. And he gets a peek at what’s around the corner from the fathers with older children.

Getting together and talking about kids, and sometimes spouses and jobs and lately the tough economy, makes them feel like they’re not alone. They talk a lot about the cost of balancing family needs with work. And how work gets put in second place when you try to be with your kids as much as possible. Maas, the father of two, says that dads who are around more are often money poor. They’re not taking a second job or working overtime like some of their own fathers who felt they had to put work first.

It’s an interesting new direction these fathers are taking. Society still considers mothers the primary parent and expect dads to be back-up. So these guys get bonus points for their efforts. And they also get one night out a week. But then that means the mothers do, too. Except they don’t go to sports bars.

Listen to the audio version of “More Babes Than Beer” on the podcast page under Another Voice.