Now that our national obsession with guns is linked to our national love for the great outdoors, with Congress voting to allow loaded and concealed weapons in our national parks, I began thinking what the summer might hold in terms of fun with guns.

Imagine how we could market this new recreational combo.

Looking for a summer thrill? We have parks that really kill.
Do you need a place to stay? Call your local N.R.A.
Pack a pistol in your pack, U.S. law has got your back.

Bring the sutures, bandage rolls, iodine for bullet holes.
Bug spray, sunscreen, snakebite kit won’t protect you from a hit.

Okay, campers, you get the idea? Now, let’s consider the possibilities if the all-powerful gun lobby, the Great Horned Shooters of America, given their triumph over common sense, decide to flex their muscle even more and push to make firearms legal in all the other places Americans go to rest and recreate.

Do you need one in your car? Would you take one to a bar?
Would you reload at the mall? Or in a museum hall?
Going to an outdoor theater? Don’t forget to take your heater.

Love that holster on your bike. Do they make one for a trike?
Stash a sidearm in your basket, bring home Grandpa in a casket.

I know this sounds as sing-song silly as a Dr. Seuss rhyme. But who would have thought that the grown-ups who are leading our country, with our epidemic of murder rampages, would agree to make it legal to take a loaded firearm to Yosemite or the Grand Canyon or your favorite national seashore.

We go to our parks for fun, not so we can scream and run.
Outdoor’s made for peace and quiet, not for those who cause a riot.

Mother Nature’s hit the floor since the sniper moved next door.
Smokey Bear is worried too. He’d feel safer at the zoo.